So I’ve been in China for about 2 1/2 years now. My parents came to visit for 10 days, and I’ve just sent them to the airport last week. I’d like to talk about this experience, and what kind of impression China gave them.
When I first came to China, I had a plan. I had studied Chinese for several years at my University, made many Chinese friends, and was accepted into a University Master’s Degree program. My parents, excited by the arrival of their new grandson, wanted to pay my wife and I a visit.
It was a whole ordeal just getting them here. First there was the visa and invitation letter, which was further complicated because my work visa was being processed. They had bought their plane tickets, but I would be working the entire time they were here (mostly).
We got all that stuff taken care of, and as the days grew nearer, the anxiety also mounted. My mother has traveled abroad to Europe several times, but my father had never left the United States, unless you count Canada which is less than an hour away from our home. Even with my mother’s previous travel experience, the trip was much, much longer… From my hometown to Shanghai takes about 17 hours if flown directly.
Flash forward to the day of the trip, and my dad is not quite prepared. He described the flight as being like a day-long bus ride; Crowded, cramped, and noisy. The food, he said was not so bad, but the in flight entertainment cut out ¾ of the way through their journey. I have no sympathy for them, as this happened to me ¼ of the way through my flight, the last time I returned home.
My wife and I also happen to live in the suburbs, about 1 ½ hours away from the airport, so add that on to the total travel time. I believe they left at 9:30 am back home, and arrived at our home around 1 am the next day. Needless to say, It was pretty intense day of traveling. We actually stayed up until 3 am that night talking, about the trip and the baby.
While night driving is not so intense as day time driving, my parents were exposed to plenty of both, and both offer unique experiences. In general, I would say my dad is very nervous when he is not in control of a situation where personal bodily risk is involved (Can’t blame him for that). The driving in China terrified him. It happened no less than once every time we went out, that either our driver would pull out in front of a car (or gas truck) speeding towards us or another car would pull out in front of us and we would just narrowly miss them. I guess after a few years in China, I’ve gotten used to this and developed a high tolerance for the organized chaos that is Chinese traffic, but whenever I got in the car with my dad, you could hear him muttering and letting out deep exasperating gasps.
Both of my parents really liked the food. I would say 3 things really stuck out to them about China. They hadn’t realized how good the food here was, and they were getting stuffed full every day, every meal by all my friends and family who constantly invited them out for meals. I found their reactions to be pretty typical as far as foreigners in China go. Stinky Tofu smells like a swimming pool full of piss, why does all the fish have bones in it, and most everything else is delicious.
The second thing that really impressed them was the scale and variety of China. Other people had given them the impression that China hadn’t developed so fully, and unless you grew up in a big American city (which we did not), you could not fathom the size and spread of the large cities and populations here.
For such a large place to be so modernized was impressive to them. They also witnessed extreme poverty, so there was no illusion. They saw China as it stands, a developing nation.
The third aspect which made the trip was the generosity and spirit of Chinese, which I think is often misrepresented or largely ignored. Every place on earth has ignorant people, but the number of good, kind people outweigh those 10 to 1. Friends and family all stepped up, offering to take my parents out to see their city and try authentic Chinese food at nice restaurants, insisting on paying for everything, as Chinese usually do. One day, while visiting a popular tourist site, a group of school children ran up to my parents, cheering and waving their little hands.
“Hello, it’s so nice to meet you!”
This really warmed my parents heart, and they both admitted that experience was their favorite in China. I suggested they both become kindergarten teachers. Awkward silence.
They also had an opportunity to visit my wife’s family in the country yard. We went together in a private car for about 200元, and had feast after feast with our families. That first night, my wife’s family arranged for us to have professional sauna and massage therapy treatments after dinner. Talk about massage heaven. My parents must have gotten about 4 massages while they were here, all within the span of 10 days, and for under $100 i’m sure.
The second day in my wife’s hometown, my parents got to see an ancient battlefield, followed by an excursion to the hot springs.
I can remember my mother feeling a little sad by the end of the trip, that she would probably have to wait another year at least before seeing her grandchild again. My wife’s parents who had not seen our son in 2 weeks were also desperate to hold and coddle him. I could sense my mom was a little upset and tried to make sure that she had equal opportunities to hold the baby. She did. All the worry and concern that sprung up in those moments when my wifes mother would carry the crying baby away, stemmed more just from anxieties about leaving.
The whole time my parents stayed in our apartment, which was fine (if not a little cold for them). They complained that the beds were too hard (China), and the apartments were too cold (Southern China).
I saved the tears by promising to come back this February, when I’ll have another story to tell.
Til then,
The Baker